High Octane Race Car
by Seinakyou
Summary: "Every story has a beginning and an end but it's the parts in the middle that really matter."  "If you say something corny about the journey, not the destination mattering, I'm going to punch you. Hard."  Because every story is different. ::GakuRin::
1. Innocence

**AN: Lol. So, my dear friend and beta SinnersLikeUs doesn't actually know I'm doing this, so please no one tell her. This series of oneshots is based off of her fic "Overdrive." Go read it. Context makes things fun ;) Anyways... I don't own anything, and I don't even own my files anymore because they all got deleted, so... yeah, don't be expecting any other updates for a few days. I need to re-get mah stuffs back! Weeeeell, enjoy.**

* * *

><p>She wakes him up one day and it isn't early, but it isn't late.<p>

"Gakkun." She whispers quietly, excitement colouring her voice. "We're going somewhere. You might get tired, and it may hurt, but it'll all be worth it."

He thinks that it doesn't mean what he hopes it does. Of course it doesn't, but he's still going to wish it did. But instead he swallows heavily and grins, agreeing instantly.

_Always._ _It's always worth it_

She cheers loudly, then dives under his bed when her brother opens his door suspiciously.

What a strange girl.

She lets him get changed, grudgingly, but doesn't get out from under his bed. She giggles, and he realizes with belated horror that he keeps his diary under there.

He sprays cologne under the bed, and she rolls out, gasping for breath and hacking her lungs out and cursing him all at once.

So cute, he thinks, so cute to see her threaten emasculation.

...

She blindfolds him and he is ashamed that this doesn't bother him.

But she takes his hand in hers and tries to pull him along a path, and he refuses to budge to irritate her, in part, but mostly because he loves hearing her whine. He moves eventually, when she starts reciting lines from his di- journal, verbatim.

He can move pretty fast sometimes.

Unfortuantely, the path ends in a tunnel and she forgets that not everyone is short like her, so he is promptly taken out by a branch to the mouth.

Dammit, that hurt.

She apologizes profusely, but he suspects that's it's not honest. When he won't forgive her, she offers to kiss it better for him, and he can feel himself blush and hear her giggle, before her fingers touch his lips. They taste like oranges.

Lip gloss? Possibly. He must investigate this further.

...

They finally get there, but she rips off the blindfold with no warning, so he is blinded by the sun and squeaks, in a manly sort of way, before covering his eyes and sitting down.

She huffs, he can hear that, and pries his hands off his eyes. He keeps them screwed shut.

"Look," she says, "I will force them open, and it's less fun for us both when it isn't consensual."

Damn her and her innuendo. Damn it all to hell.

But he opens his eyes, and has adjusted enough to see her eyes right next to his. Following up his earlier manliness with a shriek, he falls to his back. She snorts.

"Look around, idiot."

He does, wincing at the light at first, but getting used to it. It's pretty. Very pretty. Flowers everywhere, and a lake, and he wonders where the _hell_ they are but says "Wow," because that's what she wants to hear.

...

She's basically a child, no matter how the lady doth protest it. So easily amused, no naïve… he hums speculatively, watching her twirl around and fall to the ground when the dizziness overtakes her.

She's singing, but he doesn't know what the tune is and suspects she doesn't either.

Awestruck, he watches her dance in the sunlight, and barely moves when she places a flower crown on his head.

"Now you look even more girly!" she jubilates, then runs off to the lake-pond to jump in.

He doesn't know whether to be annoyed, amused, or following her into the water.

She's such a child.

He stares down at his hands, large and callused, and finds himself struck by a sudden melancholy.

_I wish I was a child._


	2. Entombment

**AN: Gosh, this is easy to write. Me no own. Please enjoy. Maybe express your enjoyment.**

* * *

><p>Rin isn't dumb. Not really. If you say she is, she'll punch you out, you hear? Gosh.<p>

But she knows that she's acting dumb.

She's let herself be… (picture a nose wrinkling in disdain)…_ captured._ Like, what the hell? The last time she even played at being captured, it was her brother, in a dress.

That happens a lot, actually. Maybe Len should see a doctor or something.

Oh god. Maybe their genders are mixed up. Maybe she's actually the boy, and her personality was just put in the wrong body.

That would mean she's gay. Or he's gay. Whatever.

Because she/he's in love. With an older man. A man who, if they were to kiss in public, would promptly be arrested and sent o jail for molesting a poor innocent girl like herself.

Puh-lease. It's more likely she'll have been molesting him. But she's just a dumb girl who doesn't know what she's doing.

Like _hell_ that's right. For all they know, she a super genius boy in a girl's body.

… but then Len would be a girl, so probably not.

Anyways, back on topic.

She's been captured, but if she says something like heart and soul she's going to have to puke because that's so corny.

Speaking of corn, why does he always tell her to eat her vegetables? She's a grown child, she can do whatever the hell she wants.

And what about it, anyways? He only wants her to eat vegetables so he can make her eat eggplants, which is sick and twisted and mildly amusing because he denies it.

And putting hats on her all the time! It messes up her hair, how is she supposed to be purdy if he's jamming toques on her head whenever it rains? He's so infuriating!

And he talks about the weather when its silent. At least talk about something original, she hates clichés and he is one.

And they're only outside in the rain or the cold because he insists they stay active, because she eats so much and plays video games so much she'll get fat otherwise. Way to charm a girl, dumbass.

And he cooks for her too, but he can't cook worth shit, unless there's an eggplant in it. Even eggplant cookies. Like, what the hell?

And that hair can't be natural. It's too long and too purple. Reminds her of Miku, who sucks when she doesn't make her coffee. That's all she's good for sometimes. She's so… goodly. It hurts to looks at.

And his sword? Like, over compensation much? What is good for, anyways, certainly not for singing, like he told her. He's such a lame wannabee samurai, and all he's good for is teasing, and mocking, and laughing at, and laughing with, and hugging, and…

Oh, shit. Rin thinks, because she's finally back to her first topic. I am so captured.

Like Peach, in Mario, except I don't like that ape thing.

Who'd be the ape thing, Len? Naw, he's not manly enough.

Besides, he couldn't keep me in if he tried.

She decides to throw something at him, because Gakupo is an ass for capturing her.

As the pancake connects with his head and he gives an undignified yelp, she concludes that it's not so bad to be captured, not if it's by an idiot like that.


	3. A Forgotten Name

**AN: LOLWUT SO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS D:**

**Da Poke Geek:** Yeah... I had a craving for pancakes, sooooooo...**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Gakupo Kamui was an incredibly cool, collected, restrained, polite, kind, gentlemanly bastard of a fine male specimen. Well, at least he thought he was. He wasn't totally sure, but, you know, how could he not be. He had <em>purple<em> hair.

So when he met this little tiny (tiny!) girl, he had to remind himself to be a gentleman, and flashing her his best smile and giving her his signature hair whip and eye flash.

"Well hel-" Oof. And was promptly silenced by a foot to the face.

"Get away from me, skeeze bag." The blonde replied in a monotone, making sure to kick him in the shins for good measure.

Well. That was unexpected. He fell to the floor in manly anguish, and cried to the heavens and imagined waves splashing about him.

"Why, god, why! Why does this little vixen resist my manly charms so!"

When another foot slammed into his already damaged face, he could've wept from the injustice and the pain of having his nose broken. Or bruised. Whatever.

"I forgot something." The girl said, and walked all. The. Way. Down. His. Torso. It hurt. It hurt like hell.

This must be the dragon every honourable, brave, heroic samurai must face. This was his demon, and he intended to kill it. Kill it dead. With his sword, because it would just be cowardly otherwise.

Whipping out his sword from its sheath, he pointed in at the girl waltzing down the hallway, still in his prone and manly position on the floor in foetal position.

"You there!" She turned, slowly, and he could swear he saw all seven levels of hell in her eyes, but swallowed and continued on, like the manly, manly man of a man he was. "Demon girl! I shall slay you."

Her eyes narrowed, and suddenly she was right in front of him. She grinned manically, and invaded his delicate personal space. Scary girl in his bubble. He suddenly wanted to run away, or pee his pants, or both. "Just you try."

In an instant, she captured him in a mind blowing kiss, and he felt his manliness roar in pride. He had won! He sighed in pleasure, wrapping his arms around her, and twining a hand in her hair…

And then she shrieked like a banshee and pushed him off of her, hauling back and slapping him across the face. And then, all of a sudden, they weren't alone, but rather surrounded by every other member of the Vocaloid house, including the only person who scared him the only one who threatened his position as man of the house… the devil, Megurine Luka.

A boy who looked surprisingly like a girl, and the girl in his arms at that, fought his way through the crowd. "Rin!" he yelled at the girl, whose name seemed to be Rin. "What happened?"

When Gakupo looked down at the girl who had been engaging in a battle of tongues with seconds earlier, he found a completely different girl. She looked… soft.

Her eyes were tearing, she was awkwardly shifting around and wouldn't meet anyone's gaze, and every inch of her screamed 'Helpless little girl! Attack me!'

"I…" she began, choking on the words as more tears welled up. "He…" She sniffed, and then wailed "Len!" and threw herself in the boy's arms.

The boy then turned to him, death and torture and other unspeakable acts of brutality in his eyes. Oh. Oh dear. Run. He's got that same look as the crazy girl. He's going to kill me.

Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder, trying to find a pressure point or something, and an icy chill swept over him. DEVIL GIRL RUN RUN RUN – ooh, too late.

"Kamui…" the pink haired demon seethed, a malevolent aura seeping out of her, "what the _hell_ did you do to poor little Rin?"

He was flabbergasted, shellshocked, flummoxed, but mostly just unable to spit out a real word. "Hummuna… wugga… er… she…"

"HE KISSED ME!" The little girl who was really Satan wailed, and buried her head back in the shota boy's shoulder.

The she-devil directed a truly evil glare at him, and he could swear his kidney _just melted. Melted. _MELTED.

"Kamui!" she growled, tightening her grip and raising a fist.

He squealed, in a very manly way, and ran.

Over his shoulder, he saw a blue haired man comforting the little girl (who was still crying crocodile tears), a brown haired woman offering her some vodka, the blonde boy giving him the most yandere look he had ever seen, the devil chasing him with a giant fish, and the little girl named Rin sticking her tongue out at him with the most smug look he had ever seen.

HE WOULD WIN THIS FIGHT. HE SWORE IT ON HIS SWORD, WHICH WAS CURRENTLY LYING ON THE FLOOR IN THE HALLWAY HE HAD JUST ESCAPED. SHIT. THERE GOES HIS HONOUR AND HIS HOPES OF LIVING THROUGH THE NIGHT.

* * *

><p>"And that's what the song was about."<p>

"Rin… that's not a heart wrenching Romeo and Juliet like tragedy."

"Well, it is for you. Luka catches up and kills you half to death, and then I save your life and we get married in Verona."

"…What."

"Yeah, Verona. I love Italy."

"She killed me half to death?"

"Yeah."

"I don't need to reaffirm my manliness every two lines!"

"Well, you kind of do. You're girlier than me."

"I am so glad you can't remember how this song actually goes."

"I'm not! It would've been such a smash hit."

"It would've been such a hit, I would've been smashed through a few doors by your protective brother and brother and sister and sister and sister."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"UH HUH."

"NUH UH~"

"UH HUH!"

"..."

"..."

"Wanna make out?"

"Sure."

* * *

><p>THE END.<p> 


	4. Lust

Gakupo found his dear sweet lady love sitting on the steps at the top of the house. She looked suspiciously pretty for being his dear sweet lady love indeed, for she was wearing a dress and sitting with her legs together and not yelling at anyone or sleeping, as he had thought. She was sitting up straight, hands folded in her lap, staring at a blank point on the wall and seemingly trying to burn a hole in it.

Once his brain got past the details, his manliness took over. He noticed hungrily how much of her perfect, smooth skin was showing and how her hair was silky smooth and how her hands looked so tiny and her mouth looked tasty and cherry and altogether quite ravish-able.

Making a decision, he decided to act on her unspoken, implied and very, very subtle invitation. He tapped on her shoulder, and when she turned around and gazed up at him, he could resist no longer.

He grabbed her by the arm, dragged her down the hall to her room – with oranges on the wall – threw her on the bed, and started to kiss her lustily.

Well, not in that order. The kissing started before the dragging, which was probably why it was so easy. He knew for certain that his dear sweet little girlfriend turned to melted puddles of goo as soon as he kissed her, thought she was loath to admit it. She was oddly immobile this time, though, even for her. Which isn't to say she didn't move at all. She usually just kept all the action restriced to the mouth section of the fun. And the hands. Her wandering hands…

But no response. Nothing. He almost, _almost _let her go out of shock, because her tongue wasn't doing anything. At all. Like, seriously, what the hell? She was usually so feisty, and this was so docile. He went cross eyed for a second, and then gaped as openly as he could with his eyes hurting and mouth occupied. She looked terrified. And shocked. And she was blushing! What the hell was that? Rin made others blush, not the other way around.

Then, all of a sudden, he understood.

_Oh._

She must be embarrassed because she was wearing a dress and it had this effect on him. The little minx. If you play with fire, you'll get burned. Well, he'll show her. Usually, she'd be unbuttoning his shirt by now, but her coyness had obviously taken over, so he started for her. Then she started to wiggle and squirm, and he was oddly put out. Was she not in the mood to make out? But she'd have hit him if that was the case, so he guessed not.

Then, as he moved his hand across his buttons, his hand brushed past her chest.

He froze.

_Wait, what?_

It was at that moment the door was literally thrown open, the knob slamming into the wall, and in stormed Len, who flopped down on Rin's favourite chair, saw them, made a spectacular double take and gave _quite_ the unmanly shriek upon seeing them.

Why was he intruding on them, anyways? Wasn't he supposed to be filming something with Kaito, one of those BL things for the fangirls. He felt affronted, suddenly and wished he'd thought to lock the door. Who was Len to interrupt his time with his precious girlfriend! He hoisted himself up on one arm, detaching himself from his girlfriend's mouth.

Once his long, beautiful hair wasn't blocking his vision anymore,he instantly zeroed in on the blood trickling out of Len's nose. The poor, innocent boy. He was staring at them with an odd mix of anger and fascination in his eyes, and Gakupo wished that he'd just go away. He was thirsting to get back to loving his girlfriend.

As his vision cleared, he noticed that the boy looked strange, too. Well, stranger than usual. I mean, shota was one thing, but wearing shorts that short? He'd thought that the boy had some manly pride. Like him. Gakupo was manly, and he'd go back to proving it to his lady if the boy wearing a belly top? What? That's stupid! Why the hell would a boy wear a belly top if it wasn't skin tight! And that bow, that's so girly! He looked exactly like his sister… and…

Oh. Oh god. Oh dear god. He choked back a scream in his throat, and scrambled off the bed, falling to the floor on his back. He stared at the ceiling, eyes glazing over. The lack of chest, noticeable even on his flat girlfriend. The lack of a usual response.

He stared at the ceiling fan going round and round with abject horror, until he lurched up and looked at the figure now sitting in foetal position on the bed, rocking back on forth and staring straight ahead with the same horror as he was. The figure was indeed wearing a dress, and indeed was pretty, but was quite... male.

_Len._

The last thing he thought before blacking out was _'Ten bucks someone makes this into a song.'_

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>**: And that, kids, is how Imitation Black came to be. No joke. I'm serious. **

**Review?_  
><em>**


End file.
